Everything Will Change
by Tadpole24
Summary: She's caught in the biggest changing whirlwind. Post Always fic. Caskett and Kate/Ryan friendship.


_**Another little finale twist. I can't get In My Veins out of my head, so everything is named after it :) There's some Ryan in here…I'd love to know how you go reading it as I've never written Ryan like this before.**_

_**Thank you to blindassasin and Deb838 for being wonderful betas and offering all the best encouragement :) I added an extra bit, hope you both like it!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own Castle DVDs…that counts, right?**_

_**Enjoy.**_

..:::..

Everything Will Change

..:::..

_Nothing stays the same…_

..:::..

The first thing she notices when she wakes up is that her breathing is synced with someone else's. His chest at her back, his arm around her, his breath kissing her neck gently. She smiles. It has been a long time since she's woken up like this, and she has never felt this content.

As she settles back into him and closes her eyes, happy to go back to sleep wrapped up in her partner, something pulls in her abdomen, a sore muscle from a kick and a punch, and the rest of yesterday floods her memory. The hits she took, the way she fell, the way Ryan's hand closed around hers _just_ in time.

Her eyes shoot open again as she sees the images flash on the back of her eyelids. It's too much to handle when she would rather just ignore all the pain and stay content.

But before the thought even leaves her, her heart is pounding with the realisation of just _how much_ had changed the day before.

Castle is fast asleep and she finds it easy to climb her way out of his arms. Physically easy, that is.

Emotionally; not so much.

Her hair is a mess, so she pulls it up into a knot at the base of her head, finding her clothes strewn across his bedroom from their passionate night together. She makes a mental note to go home and get some more clothes before she comes back here, because she knows she'll be here again tonight.

The thought makes her smile.

A glance at the clock tells her it's not quite 8am and if she hurries, she can probably do what she needs to before Castle even realises she's gone. But she writes a note, just in case. An explanation without explaining too much; she still has so much to talk about with him. He doesn't know that she's resigned, he doesn't know the details of her near plunge to death, he doesn't know that when he asks Ryan and Esposito around for drinks this weekend that he'll inevitably receive only one affirmative reply. Ryan will come, because he wants things to be okay again, Esposito will settle into an excuse because to him, things can't be okay again.

She breathes deep.

And steps out of his bedroom.

..:::..

Ryan's on his phone when she first sees him, but he hangs up as soon as he sees her.

"Beckett." He says by way of greeting. His eyes are solemn, his expression guarded. He takes a step towards the entrance of the precinct, almost expecting her to follow him, but she won't. Can't.

Not yet.

"Hey," She reaches out to grab his arm, "Can we just stay here?"

He nods, and his expression softens, "I don't want to go up either. You know? No one I care about is up there." He looks up at the grand gray building, "But I made my choice, I suppose."

The hand holding onto him loosens as she runs it up his arm and back down again to take his hand, "I am so grateful for the choice you made, Ryan." She squeezes his hand, "So grateful. I owe you my life."

There were no words yesterday. In the back of the van on the way back to the precinct, under the stern stare of Gates, no one had dared say a word. The tension in the air was tangible and though there were no words for the moment, she could tell it was bigger than this ride. She could tell that something was out of place with her friends, her brothers.

"You don't owe me anything." But she can hear the question in his voice; would they have all behaved as he did yesterday? If he had been hanging off that rooftop, would someone have risked their career and their friendships just to make sure he came home alive?

His voice barely conceals the betrayal she knows he must be feeling.

"I've gotta…" he gestures towards the building, "Thanks for coming by."

Her heart pounds, she needs to make this right.

"Ryan, wait. Just…" she takes a step forward and wraps her arms around him, "Please, anything. I want to make this better. I'm so sorry I ever put you in the position where you had to make the choice you did."

He wraps an arm around her, "Just don't talk to Javi, okay?"

She pulls back, looking at him curiously, "I…"

His phone buzzes and he looks down, smiling, "I know you will want to, Beckett. I know you want to make all of this better, but the fact is, I need to be the one who talks to him. I need to be the one that makes it right between us. You understand that bond between partners, right?"

She does; just like she was the one who had to make it right with Castle. She nods, "Okay."

"Okay, good." He looks back at the precinct and she knows that he really does have to go, "Now get back to Castle."

Her eyes widen, "I don't know what you're…"

He cuts her off, holding up his phone, "Please. He's been calling and texting me for the last half hour asking where you are and then trying to justify why he's asking."

She rolls her eyes. _Idiot_. But he's her idiot and she gets to go home to him now.

"Alright. But Ryan, don't be a stranger." She wishes she could say something more meaningful.

He nods, "I could say the same." He waves as he walks through the heavy doors of the precinct and she knows that she's going to have to be a stranger for a little while.

Not forever though.

Definitely not forever.

..:::..

She has to knock. And that now feels ridiculous.

As Castle opens the door for her, she finds it hard to comprehend just how much has changed in under 24 hours. Part of her feels as though her heart has been ripped out of her chest, the part with her closest friends attached to it. She knows that Ryan and Espo have the ability to work through anything, but she feels strange, like something has shifted monumentally. Like maybe it can't go back to how it was. And that scares her.

But the other half of her has never felt lighter, freer, happier. Saying goodbye to her mother's case has always brought a sinking feeling to her stomach and an ache to her heart. But this way, saying hello to Castle…well, words can't explain how much better she feels.

She smiles when he kisses her. It already feels familiar and safe as his lips glide gently across hers, his hands placed warmly at her back, holding her in just the right way, making sure he's not hurting her sore torso.

"I made coffee."

She peeks over his shoulder and sees that he's in the middle of making her more than just coffee. There seems to be eggs and waffles and cereal and yogurt. All strewn across the kitchen.

She smiles, "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help."

He waves her off as he guides a seat out for her at the breakfast bar and continues back to the kitchen, "There'll be plenty more breakfasts."

Breaking off the edge of a waffle and chewing on it thoughtfully, she finds she's truly happy to be thinking about her future with Castle and all the breakfasts that may include. Something she was crazily scared of only a couple of months ago.

She smiles when he sits next to her, "Safe to say Ryan knows about us."

He blinks in confusion, "I thought I was being clever."

She rolls her eyes.

There is something so unsteady about being jobless and about having her friends' partnership shatter. There's something in Ryan's voice that scares her and makes her want to be there for him constantly, if for nothing else other than make sure he knows how grateful she is for his actions.

She's caught in the biggest changing whirlwind.

But at the centre, she knows she has Castle.

Unwavering, unquestionable Castle.

Some things never change.

..:::..


End file.
